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[ She nods slowly ]
It was... I honestly can't really understand why it felt like that. It wasn't like anyone ever told us that's how things had to be. But I think maybe we got told one too many times just how busy they both were. Especially once I got old enough to look after Ruu-chan while they were out.
I used to think things like "Mom and Dad are already so busy, so I have to be on my best behaviour". I didn't want to cause them any more trouble. Or something like that, anyway.
It was... I honestly can't really understand why it felt like that. It wasn't like anyone ever told us that's how things had to be. But I think maybe we got told one too many times just how busy they both were. Especially once I got old enough to look after Ruu-chan while they were out.
I used to think things like "Mom and Dad are already so busy, so I have to be on my best behaviour". I didn't want to cause them any more trouble. Or something like that, anyway.
[watch out it's the Deadly Inescapable Lucian Headpat(tm)]
...You don't strike me as one to cause that sort of trouble.
...You don't strike me as one to cause that sort of trouble.
You won't be watching it alone.
[ She says it firmly, like there's no room for argument. Not that she thinks Ardyn would give her any.
She's facing away from him, giving their simple little breakfast much more attention than it needs for the amount of prep she's doing but it's easier to have a talk like this when she isn't running the risk of meeting his gaze. ]
You've... done things, I know. Awful things. But I know you don't keep secrets from us and if there's things you haven't told us yet I know there's a reason. I know how... [ God. Was she always this bad at being honest, open? Was it really so difficult to learn again after lying for so long? ] I know it's hard.
But there's nothing he could say you've done or talk about that would change any of that. I... I got that tattoo for a reason. Because it meant something.
[ She says it firmly, like there's no room for argument. Not that she thinks Ardyn would give her any.
She's facing away from him, giving their simple little breakfast much more attention than it needs for the amount of prep she's doing but it's easier to have a talk like this when she isn't running the risk of meeting his gaze. ]
You've... done things, I know. Awful things. But I know you don't keep secrets from us and if there's things you haven't told us yet I know there's a reason. I know how... [ God. Was she always this bad at being honest, open? Was it really so difficult to learn again after lying for so long? ] I know it's hard.
But there's nothing he could say you've done or talk about that would change any of that. I... I got that tattoo for a reason. Because it meant something.
[ Ah, headpat. It's enough to make her expression soften a little bit. ]
Maybe not. It's probably a little silly, thinking back on it now but... but I was only thirteen. Maybe fourteen. Once you get something into your head at that age it's hard to make it unstick.
[ She's softening things a bit. She's not talking about the phone calls, the apologies for their absence, the sighs and "I'm sorry things are so busy, but it can't really be helped. You'll be a good, grown-up girl and keep yourself out of trouble, won't you?" the few times she'd bothered asking if either of them would be home on time. Because in her eyes, it really isn't something that needs mentioning. It was just the way things were.
That and... for all the time that's passed and the distance there'd been, they'd still been her parents. Even talking this frankly about them feels a little disrespectful. ]
That's why I always did my best to make sure Ruu-chan never felt like that. Not with me, at least. And I... I hope it worked.
Maybe not. It's probably a little silly, thinking back on it now but... but I was only thirteen. Maybe fourteen. Once you get something into your head at that age it's hard to make it unstick.
[ She's softening things a bit. She's not talking about the phone calls, the apologies for their absence, the sighs and "I'm sorry things are so busy, but it can't really be helped. You'll be a good, grown-up girl and keep yourself out of trouble, won't you?" the few times she'd bothered asking if either of them would be home on time. Because in her eyes, it really isn't something that needs mentioning. It was just the way things were.
That and... for all the time that's passed and the distance there'd been, they'd still been her parents. Even talking this frankly about them feels a little disrespectful. ]
That's why I always did my best to make sure Ruu-chan never felt like that. Not with me, at least. And I... I hope it worked.
... [Ardyn raised a hand to the back of his neck, ostensibly a nervous gesture one would see in a lot of people; but in reality he simply brushed a hand across the stolen sigil imprinted in black. The symbol of an organization he'd had a hand in dismantling, however indirectly.]
There's...far more than I've said. Some things I've brought up with all of you, a few I've only said to Junpei, and still more I've only told Church. But it's not a matter of lying or keeping secrets--not anymore. Not with any of you, I just...don't know where to begin, and perhaps I find myself still wondering if there truly is a line none of you are yet aware of.
['Is there really nothing we can call 'unforgivable' just for the sake of staying together?']
[Ardyn still wasn't sure of the answer to that. He trusted the others, and yet trust for someone who had been scarred by a kingdom's betrayal could only reach so far.]
...I've done worse to Noctis than the network can. So as much as I have faith he'll survive, I-...don't know what might happen if it should come out that he didn't.
There's...far more than I've said. Some things I've brought up with all of you, a few I've only said to Junpei, and still more I've only told Church. But it's not a matter of lying or keeping secrets--not anymore. Not with any of you, I just...don't know where to begin, and perhaps I find myself still wondering if there truly is a line none of you are yet aware of.
['Is there really nothing we can call 'unforgivable' just for the sake of staying together?']
[Ardyn still wasn't sure of the answer to that. He trusted the others, and yet trust for someone who had been scarred by a kingdom's betrayal could only reach so far.]
...I've done worse to Noctis than the network can. So as much as I have faith he'll survive, I-...don't know what might happen if it should come out that he didn't.
That's an elder sibling's entire job, my dear.
[...That much, he still remembered.]
I don't have any doubt you did spectacularly.
[...That much, he still remembered.]
I don't have any doubt you did spectacularly.
[The good thing about the bad thing is that, when you aren't hiding your worse moods very well, your better ones stand out more, so it's easier for others to tell what's helping.
...which may be the reason Arianna volunteered for this particular supply run. She can neither confirm nor deny. Even though the answer is pretty obvious since she still thinks of keeping people's spirits up as literally her reason for existing. Can she change the subject? Yes? Thank you.]
Everyone has been enjoying what you and the others prepare.
[She's still amazed by Jane's powers of baking. Truly they are blessed to know so many fine purveyors of desserts. Some finer than others.]
Still, perhaps we should do this more often. It does seem seem easier, if we find ourselves out and about anyway.
...which may be the reason Arianna volunteered for this particular supply run. She can neither confirm nor deny. Even though the answer is pretty obvious since she still thinks of keeping people's spirits up as literally her reason for existing. Can she change the subject? Yes? Thank you.]
Everyone has been enjoying what you and the others prepare.
[She's still amazed by Jane's powers of baking. Truly they are blessed to know so many fine purveyors of desserts. Some finer than others.]
Still, perhaps we should do this more often. It does seem seem easier, if we find ourselves out and about anyway.
... I guess we'll find out for sure once go and find Ruu-chan.
[ she says it with a smile but those sure aren't the words of someone fully confident in their big sistering skills. ]
But that's going to be... interesting, don't you think? It was strange enough for us to get used to all this -- space, the future. Everything else. I just hope it doesn't unsettle her too much after everything she's already been through.
[ she says it with a smile but those sure aren't the words of someone fully confident in their big sistering skills. ]
But that's going to be... interesting, don't you think? It was strange enough for us to get used to all this -- space, the future. Everything else. I just hope it doesn't unsettle her too much after everything she's already been through.
It's been nice having a real kitchen again... I had no idea how much I'd started taking one for granted until we didn't have it anymore. But having the option to skip cooking and go out is just as nice.
[ it's funny the things you miss when society collapses and you get stuck in a shelter for the rest of your foreseeable future. Ho hum. ]
Are you really sure you only want a happy meal, though? They're not very big...
[ it's funny the things you miss when society collapses and you get stuck in a shelter for the rest of your foreseeable future. Ho hum. ]
Are you really sure you only want a happy meal, though? They're not very big...
... we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I think. I mean... right now, there's not a lot I can imagine him saying that would make me turn on you. And... and maybe that would scare me.
[ She doesn't say anything else for a long moment -- she just sets a plate piled with buttered toast and a handful of fruit slices in front of him before going back to her own food.
Then she speaks up again. ]
But it doesn't. Maybe I'm selfish but the one thing I want more than anything is just for all of us to be able to stay together. To be happy, after everything that's happened.
And that means no matter what it turns out happened in that place, we're going to be with you while we do what we can to fix it. Whatever it turns out they did in there, we're not letting any of it go unanswered for.
[ She doesn't say anything else for a long moment -- she just sets a plate piled with buttered toast and a handful of fruit slices in front of him before going back to her own food.
Then she speaks up again. ]
But it doesn't. Maybe I'm selfish but the one thing I want more than anything is just for all of us to be able to stay together. To be happy, after everything that's happened.
And that means no matter what it turns out happened in that place, we're going to be with you while we do what we can to fix it. Whatever it turns out they did in there, we're not letting any of it go unanswered for.
Church said much the same thing on the matter. It isn't...a matter of not believing or trusting any of you, more that-...in the long list of things that I've done, I'm still certain something will be one step too far, one act too unthinkable for any of you to ever look at me the same way again. And you would no doubt be right to, there's nothing I've done that I can defend.
But I...want us to stay together. Perhaps it's selfish of me as well, but the last thing I ever want is to be left alone a second time. In dismantling the network and whatever may come after that-...I don't want to be left behind.
But I...want us to stay together. Perhaps it's selfish of me as well, but the last thing I ever want is to be left alone a second time. In dismantling the network and whatever may come after that-...I don't want to be left behind.
'Interesting' is certainly one potential word for it. But you shouldn't worry too much. We'll all help you look after her, once we've found her.
I can always return for more if needed. ...although I suppose I would be making more work for the cooking staff in that case.
[Someone's appreciation for the amount of effort that goes into cooking has increased a lot over the past few months. She opens the box and starts removing the contents.]
So this is a "cheeseburger."
[Someone's appreciation for the amount of effort that goes into cooking has increased a lot over the past few months. She opens the box and starts removing the contents.]
So this is a "cheeseburger."
[ She cracks another smile. It's small but it's a real one this time and she reaches her hand out to him again. It's not where she intended this conversation to drift. But it means that Ardyn isn't worrying himself ragged over Airlocked! so she can't say she minds. ]
... What do you think we'll all do, when this is over? I've been... thinking about that a lot lately. I mean, we can't just stay here forever, can we? We're going to have to move on eventually but actually doing that is going to be a bit of a mess...
... What do you think we'll all do, when this is over? I've been... thinking about that a lot lately. I mean, we can't just stay here forever, can we? We're going to have to move on eventually but actually doing that is going to be a bit of a mess...
...I'm not entirely sure. [He took Yuuri's hand with his own, the black ring feeling just a little heavy as Ardyn considered the options.] My planet is out of the question; even were I to want to return and in the hypothetical best case scenario, I doubt Noctis would ever allow that.
[which...fair.]
I'm not entirely certain what Junpei's world is like, but offhand that's sounded like the safest choice as far as I've heard.
[which...fair.]
I'm not entirely certain what Junpei's world is like, but offhand that's sounded like the safest choice as far as I've heard.
That's right. They're a little smaller than the ones we got just after getting out, though.
[ Though she suspects that has less to do with Arianna ordering herself a happy meal and more to do with the portion sizes at Sparby's being beyond extra. ]
Do you really not have anything like that back home? I'm a little surprised.
[ Though she suspects that has less to do with Arianna ordering herself a happy meal and more to do with the portion sizes at Sparby's being beyond extra. ]
Do you really not have anything like that back home? I'm a little surprised.
[Or maybe McDarkmatter's is just a ripoff. Arianna shakes her head.]
We have sandwiches, but I don't recognize the meat.
[Not even as something she saw Queenie prepare once in a thread I think actually existed and wasn't a hallucination, but again, that's probably the restaurant's fault.]
What sort of creature is a "burger?"
We have sandwiches, but I don't recognize the meat.
[Not even as something she saw Queenie prepare once in a thread I think actually existed and wasn't a hallucination, but again, that's probably the restaurant's fault.]
What sort of creature is a "burger?"
Mmm. I'd like to be safe. After all this, I mean. But I wonder...
[ She trusts Junpei of course -- if he says his world is safe then she doesn't doubt for a second that it is. But she wonders how it would feel to suddenly be back in a Japan full of living, breathing people. Seeing a city when she's so used to ruins.
Is there a Yuuri Wakasa in his world? Is there a place for this Yuuri Wakasa in Japan of 2028? ]
I mean. It'd be a little hard to just set up a new life in a completely different world. Unless we somehow registered as citizens somewhere we'd be living off the grid for the rest of our lives.
[ She trusts Junpei of course -- if he says his world is safe then she doesn't doubt for a second that it is. But she wonders how it would feel to suddenly be back in a Japan full of living, breathing people. Seeing a city when she's so used to ruins.
Is there a Yuuri Wakasa in his world? Is there a place for this Yuuri Wakasa in Japan of 2028? ]
I mean. It'd be a little hard to just set up a new life in a completely different world. Unless we somehow registered as citizens somewhere we'd be living off the grid for the rest of our lives.
Something like that is far easier to arrange than you think.
[Said the immortal with a legitimate driver's license.]
A little creative misdirection, occasionally a bit of illusion magic, and you have a perfectly functional life without the slightest hint of a concrete background.
[Said the immortal with a legitimate driver's license.]
A little creative misdirection, occasionally a bit of illusion magic, and you have a perfectly functional life without the slightest hint of a concrete background.
[ She's thought it before, so many times, but it creeps into her mind again as she looks at him and hears him speak so uncertainly. What would Noctis, what would Eos think of their Scourge now?
She'd like to be naive enough to think that it'd change a damn thing.
But he sounds so lost. And Yuuri thinks what does it matter what Eos would think? Why does she give a damn what Noctis will say when he sees the man he killed back out of the grave? But even as the thoght crosses her mind, she realizes: she cares because it would matter to Ardyn.
Yuuri leaves her breakfast sitting unfinished on the sideboard and just crosses the room so she can put her arms around his shoulders and press her face into his hair in as best a hug as she can manage. ]
... Not one more person. Do you remember when I said that? I said we weren't going to lose any more people in that goddamn place and I meant it. But it still counts here, too. I'm so sick of losing people. Of letting people get left behind. I'm not letting it happen again, no matter what.
I don't care what or who we have to fight to make it happen. When all this is over, you're coming with us. No matter what. And that's that.
She'd like to be naive enough to think that it'd change a damn thing.
But he sounds so lost. And Yuuri thinks what does it matter what Eos would think? Why does she give a damn what Noctis will say when he sees the man he killed back out of the grave? But even as the thoght crosses her mind, she realizes: she cares because it would matter to Ardyn.
Yuuri leaves her breakfast sitting unfinished on the sideboard and just crosses the room so she can put her arms around his shoulders and press her face into his hair in as best a hug as she can manage. ]
... Not one more person. Do you remember when I said that? I said we weren't going to lose any more people in that goddamn place and I meant it. But it still counts here, too. I'm so sick of losing people. Of letting people get left behind. I'm not letting it happen again, no matter what.
I don't care what or who we have to fight to make it happen. When all this is over, you're coming with us. No matter what. And that's that.
Wh-?! [Ardyn froze up under the unexpected contact, arms hovering uncertainly for a moment before wrapping tightly around her.]
...I don't deserve any of you or the loyalty you've given me. I know that you'll argue, but it's true all the same. After all that I've done--all the suffering I've caused in the name of revenge I found justified, I should have died in Insomnia and let that be the end of it.
[His voice faltered with that acknowledgment, quiet and colored by uncertainty. What was Noctis going to think, if they were able to meet again? Would he believe Ardyn had lied and manipulated his way into this whole group, that he was just lying in wait for a chance to betray every last one of them for his own benefit? Or-...]
When it was over, I asked him what he would do. If he truly planned to banish the daemons--both of us knowing it would cost him his life. I asked if he would erase me from history once more. I'm not sure what I expected--perhaps that he'd tell me to stay dead this time, or confirm I'd be eradicated from existence in any and all forms.
[Had he told anyone this? Surely he'd said it to Church at some point, more than likely. But did anyone know how much a brief exchange haunted him now, with time enough to dwell on it and without the constant burning hatred making him something other than human.]
But he just looked at me and said...'this time, you can rest in peace. Close your eyes--forevermore'.
[When the prophecy is fulfilled, all in thrall to darkness shall know peace.]
[Again, sympathy where it hadn't been deserved or even wanted. Ardyn Izunia couldn't comprehend it, and Tenmyouji Ardyn was still struggling to understand it. Why had either of them cared even that much, after all he'd done? Why did anyone here ever give a damn about him? Why, when a whole kingdom and his own family had turned on him so easily, did no one else seem willing to condemn him when things came down to it?]
[Ardyn hugged Yuuri a little tighter--trying to hide the fact that his shoulders might have been shaking.]
...that is the last thing that I remember. What I am saying is that I don't have anywhere to return to--just you and the others. And I don't...understand why, after everything-even with yet worse that most of you don't even realize--you're still so willing to remain with me.
[Ultimately, 'forgiveness' was not something Ardyn knew well.]
...I don't deserve any of you or the loyalty you've given me. I know that you'll argue, but it's true all the same. After all that I've done--all the suffering I've caused in the name of revenge I found justified, I should have died in Insomnia and let that be the end of it.
[His voice faltered with that acknowledgment, quiet and colored by uncertainty. What was Noctis going to think, if they were able to meet again? Would he believe Ardyn had lied and manipulated his way into this whole group, that he was just lying in wait for a chance to betray every last one of them for his own benefit? Or-...]
When it was over, I asked him what he would do. If he truly planned to banish the daemons--both of us knowing it would cost him his life. I asked if he would erase me from history once more. I'm not sure what I expected--perhaps that he'd tell me to stay dead this time, or confirm I'd be eradicated from existence in any and all forms.
[Had he told anyone this? Surely he'd said it to Church at some point, more than likely. But did anyone know how much a brief exchange haunted him now, with time enough to dwell on it and without the constant burning hatred making him something other than human.]
But he just looked at me and said...'this time, you can rest in peace. Close your eyes--forevermore'.
[When the prophecy is fulfilled, all in thrall to darkness shall know peace.]
[Again, sympathy where it hadn't been deserved or even wanted. Ardyn Izunia couldn't comprehend it, and Tenmyouji Ardyn was still struggling to understand it. Why had either of them cared even that much, after all he'd done? Why did anyone here ever give a damn about him? Why, when a whole kingdom and his own family had turned on him so easily, did no one else seem willing to condemn him when things came down to it?]
[Ardyn hugged Yuuri a little tighter--trying to hide the fact that his shoulders might have been shaking.]
...that is the last thing that I remember. What I am saying is that I don't have anywhere to return to--just you and the others. And I don't...understand why, after everything-even with yet worse that most of you don't even realize--you're still so willing to remain with me.
[Ultimately, 'forgiveness' was not something Ardyn knew well.]
[ Miracle of miracles, Yuuri actually manages a laugh. Okay, yes, maybe getting out of the house, away from all the murder and spending some time with her sister was exactly what she needed. ]
No, no, the burger's the meal -- the way it's prepared, not the meat itself. The meat's... probably beef?
[ who knows with space mcdonalds. maybe it's space beef. ]
No, no, the burger's the meal -- the way it's prepared, not the meat itself. The meat's... probably beef?
[ who knows with space mcdonalds. maybe it's space beef. ]
[ Oh, hm. That's her thoughtful face. Looks like he's got her interest piqued. ]
It's really that easy... I could even finish school, if I wanted. Maybe not high school, but it'd be nice to be able to go to college...
[ Maybe she'd actually be able to pursue a career she actually wants rather than "whatever's more convenient for my family". Just imagine. ]
It's really that easy... I could even finish school, if I wanted. Maybe not high school, but it'd be nice to be able to go to college...
[ Maybe she'd actually be able to pursue a career she actually wants rather than "whatever's more convenient for my family". Just imagine. ]
Anything is easy, when you have the advantage of being me.
[He laughed halfheartedly, squeezing Yuuri's hand lightly.]
If that's what you want, we'll see if we can't figure the logistics out once this is all over.
[He laughed halfheartedly, squeezing Yuuri's hand lightly.]
If that's what you want, we'll see if we can't figure the logistics out once this is all over.
[And that's what Arianna is the Champion Sovereign. Because of her talent for saying exactly the right incredibly stupid thing. She's glad to head that sound again. It seems like it's been forever.]
So, what may be beef, prepared in this manner, with cheese, constitutes a "cheeseburger."
[This is very important information.
Well, without further ado, she picks it up and takes a bite.]
So, what may be beef, prepared in this manner, with cheese, constitutes a "cheeseburger."
[This is very important information.
Well, without further ado, she picks it up and takes a bite.]
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