[It was difficult--no, impossible for Ardyn to let go of the desire for vengeance. Someone should have paid for what they had all gone through and all those they'd lost, and as far as he was concerned someone would. Was it right to want bloody revenge on the network? The exalted savior of Lucis would disagree. Vengeance caused more problems than it solved; destroy them and risk something worse rising to take its place. Yet the Accursed would demand fires lit and blood shed, trample the network so soundly underfoot that all across the stars would look to the example and never dare tread the same path.]
[...It was difficult to prioritize what he wanted and what might someday be necessary; Ardyn was only human, after all.]
I don't know if I can completely agree with that. Not after what I've done--I'm the last person deserving of a second chance, no matter what the rest of you think.
But I already tried to discourage all of you once, and we all saw how well that went--at least two of you want to fight a god the size of a building in my defense. Possibly three, if we're to include you. Accursed scourge of an entire planet, and that barely got any of you to blink, much less turn on me.
[Despite the honest but pessimistic wording, a smile drifted across Ardyn's face.]
...You know, when I said I never had children, that wasn't a suggestion that applications were open. [He shook his head, hands gently pulling away from Yuuri's in favor of holding his arms out to her just slightly--hesitant, like he wasn't sure what he was doing.] But I'm immeasurably grateful for the family that so stubbornly adopted me.
[ It strikes her somewhere new in her chest to hear that word again. Family. She's been throwing it around so readily and easily ever since she'd realized that's what they were but all of a sudden she realizes all over just how strongly she feels the same: that she could not ever express how grateful she is for this ragtag group of people.
She has no idea what happened to her parents. She still isn't sure of what might have happened to Ruu. And the School Living Club, as fiercely as she loved it wasn't a family -- it was more pack than anything else, a group of people thrown together and surviving by the skin of their teeth because any other choice meant death. It's never occurred to her before but she realizes now that all of them had been orphans in some way or another.
Had been, is the key word. She doesn't quite know when or how it happened but there's suddenly a father in her life again. A father who laughs and smiles and puts his arms out for a hug and doesn't talk to her, look at her like she's a guest in her own home who makes him nervous.
Yuuri steps forward and throws her arms around him in a tight, fierce hug. Compared to Ardyn, she's pint-sized but there's a whole lot of strength in those arms. ]
... me too. I don't know where I'd be without any of you.
[ She gives a shaky little laugh. ]
I think we both surprised ourselves a bit, though.
[ You remember the sweater and the yelling, Ardyn. ]
I won't lie and pretend it isn't slightly jarring every time one of you calls me that. Of all the things I've been, I don't believe 'father figure' was ever anywhere on the list.
[But he put his arms around her all the same; still hesitant, doubting and second-guessing if he was taking the right approach. Doubting if he was what Yuuri and Junpei and Clarith thought he was or needed him to be, after everything. Doubting, even now, if he was human enough for this. But in another lifetime, before ages in darkness and solitude, he'd had a family. Had people he loved dearly--parents, brother, Shield--people he would have once sacrificed everything for.]
[...People that discarded him, and who he discarded in turn.]
[There had, possibly, been part of him back then that envied his brother as Izunia must have envied him. Wasn't it so much preferable to stay in one place, with a loving family and no constant traveling, no endless struggling and slow, gradual descent into raging madness? Had his little brother held any idea how Ardyn had never dared admit to wanting that?]
[Deserved or not, maybe it really wasn't too late. Hesitant or not he held on to Yuuri like he fully intended to protect her from a million threats in a thousand worlds.]
...it'll be different this time. [He said that half to himself; never again, just as he'd promised Queenie. No more betrayal, no more family going behind each other's backs and throwing away the time they'd spent together.]
[As much as the concept still left even Ardyn unnerved, he could trust these people--his family--and believe that trust would not be cast aside.]
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[...It was difficult to prioritize what he wanted and what might someday be necessary; Ardyn was only human, after all.]
I don't know if I can completely agree with that. Not after what I've done--I'm the last person deserving of a second chance, no matter what the rest of you think.
But I already tried to discourage all of you once, and we all saw how well that went--at least two of you want to fight a god the size of a building in my defense. Possibly three, if we're to include you. Accursed scourge of an entire planet, and that barely got any of you to blink, much less turn on me.
[Despite the honest but pessimistic wording, a smile drifted across Ardyn's face.]
...You know, when I said I never had children, that wasn't a suggestion that applications were open. [He shook his head, hands gently pulling away from Yuuri's in favor of holding his arms out to her just slightly--hesitant, like he wasn't sure what he was doing.] But I'm immeasurably grateful for the family that so stubbornly adopted me.
no subject
She has no idea what happened to her parents. She still isn't sure of what might have happened to Ruu. And the School Living Club, as fiercely as she loved it wasn't a family -- it was more pack than anything else, a group of people thrown together and surviving by the skin of their teeth because any other choice meant death. It's never occurred to her before but she realizes now that all of them had been orphans in some way or another.
Had been, is the key word. She doesn't quite know when or how it happened but there's suddenly a father in her life again. A father who laughs and smiles and puts his arms out for a hug and doesn't talk to her, look at her like she's a guest in her own home who makes him nervous.
Yuuri steps forward and throws her arms around him in a tight, fierce hug. Compared to Ardyn, she's pint-sized but there's a whole lot of strength in those arms. ]
... me too. I don't know where I'd be without any of you.
[ She gives a shaky little laugh. ]
I think we both surprised ourselves a bit, though.
[ You remember the sweater and the yelling, Ardyn. ]
no subject
[But he put his arms around her all the same; still hesitant, doubting and second-guessing if he was taking the right approach. Doubting if he was what Yuuri and Junpei and Clarith thought he was or needed him to be, after everything. Doubting, even now, if he was human enough for this. But in another lifetime, before ages in darkness and solitude, he'd had a family. Had people he loved dearly--parents, brother, Shield--people he would have once sacrificed everything for.]
[...People that discarded him, and who he discarded in turn.]
[There had, possibly, been part of him back then that envied his brother as Izunia must have envied him. Wasn't it so much preferable to stay in one place, with a loving family and no constant traveling, no endless struggling and slow, gradual descent into raging madness? Had his little brother held any idea how Ardyn had never dared admit to wanting that?]
[Deserved or not, maybe it really wasn't too late. Hesitant or not he held on to Yuuri like he fully intended to protect her from a million threats in a thousand worlds.]
...it'll be different this time. [He said that half to himself; never again, just as he'd promised Queenie. No more betrayal, no more family going behind each other's backs and throwing away the time they'd spent together.]
[As much as the concept still left even Ardyn unnerved, he could trust these people--his family--and believe that trust would not be cast aside.]
I'm not-...we're not alone anymore.