[ She sounds so bitter, so tired that Yuuri hardly sounds like herself. ]
There's so much of it I look back at and wonder... how did I ever let things get that bad? I shouldn't be thankful that any of us went through what we did but I just... it saved me. Not just from that place but...
[ She doesn't have to say it because again, she thinks Arianna understands. Arianna, who sometimes seems like she knows Yuuri maybe a little better than Yuuri knows herself. ]
[ Again, the instinct to deny that -- to say she should have tried harder, simply been better somehow. Even with all the time and distance, she still finds herself wanting to own everything that had happened. Because somehow, the idea that she'd tried and failed and could've done things right is better than the idea that there was no way to do things right. It's powerlessness that terrifies her more than the idea of her own failures.
But god. She knows she can't keep hating and blaming herself for all this. Not unless she wants to take one step forward and then twenty back. ]
... it's over now, though. Isn't it? Not with the Network maybe but. I don't ever have to go back to all that. If we do, it'll just be to find Yuki-chan and get her out of there. And then after that...
[ She doesn't know. The future is still a totally undefined mess of maybes and possibilities and it's terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure. ]
... where do you think you're going to go, when all this is done? When Airlocked is over and we've done whatever we have to do to save everyone.
[ ... ah. Maybe that was the wrong question to ask. ]
... and I'm sure you'd want to introduce Clarith-san to everyone, wouldn't you?
[ The smile she manages to give Arianna is shaky but she wants her to be reminded that no matter where she goes after this, it's not like she's going to go it alone ]
Do you think the two of you might have a ceremony in Caledonia?
[ Do you need a hand patting your head, princess. Too bad, you're getting one. ]
... I think they will be.
[ she has nothing to base this faith off but she doesn't want to see Arianna fretting so much about them, when it obviously weighs so heavily on her heart. ]
And if they're not... well, we'll just have to do something to fix that, won't we? If we're going to save everyone who's been pulled into these awful games... if Junpei thinks he can save Ruu-chan... then what's a few more people?
[She wishes she could share Yuuri's faith in her friend's survival, but after what she's seen... but the idea that their deaths are something they could undo rings true. It's not like they haven't been brought back before, right?]
Yes, we shall save them. And defeat the Calamity ourselves to do so, if necessary.
It's not like we don't have the resources for it. In fact, I almost feel sorry for anyone from your world who thinks they're going to be able to stand up to us.
[ rest in pieces to the calamity ]
And then once it's all done, you'll be able to introduce Clarith-san to them all. That's two royal weddings I'm going to end up attending...
[ They certainly seemed joined at the hip in Florida and she's so glad for it. Everyone stuck in that little hellhole deserves all the happiness they can claw back from the network. ]
That makes three... oh, and once Noctis and Lunafreya-san get married, that's four. ...But I'd understand if we're not all invited to that one.
[ going to the wedding of the lady your adoptive hobo dad murdered could be construed as tacky ]
[look, you brought down the mood a while ago, it's her turn now]
I feel as though the others do not consider me equal to Lord Ardyn, Lord Xander, and Lord Noctis. They are seen as strong leaders, while I am treated as a child. [Actually, that's a fandom behavior she's projecting onto people in her ongoing insecurity, but shh.] Now I realize the difference is earned.
... There's different ways to be a leader, you know.
[ Please, listen to the School Living Club President, Arianna. ]
I don't think any of you think you're just a child, or anything like that. You're just... different from Dad and Noctis and Xander-san. There's nothing wrong with that. But they're all so much older than you and all of them have had the chance to be kings.
[ The chance to be adults.
Yuuri stares at Arianna in silence for a moment. She's told Arianna so many things. How brave and strong she is, how brightly she shines. But has Yuuri ever told her the one thing that really, truly matters?
The one thing that no one had ever thought to tell her? ]
Arianna... you're only nineteen. You've got so much time to grow and learn and... you shouldn't compare yourself to them like that. You're you. Please don't feel like you're standing in their shadows.
[Arianna is all set to protest. That the only kind of leader who matters is the kind people are willing to follow. That the age comparison merely makes excuses for her shortcomings, and if anything, confirms them. That on a practical level, their group needs people who can do things now, not someday.
But she doesn't. Because it's Yuuri. Even if everyone else really does think of her as lesser, Yuuri's faith in her is... well, it's not enough, but it means something. And it comes from experience, she knows that--even if there's still so much to the story she doesn't know, she knows enough to understand this. If nothing else, she can't stand the thought of metaphorically throwing it back in her face.]
Rii-san...
[She hugs her tightly, tears forming in her eyes.]
[ Yuuri hugs her tight -- because of course she does, she's Yuuri -- but then she pulls back a little, just far enough to carefully hold Arianna's face in her hands and look her in the eye. Yuuri can't change the past -- she's certainly no time traveller or esper but she can at least stop it repeating.
There was no one around, in Megu-nee's absence, to tell her what she needed to hear. But Yuuri is here now, with Arianna and she can do what was never done for her. Can't she? ]
Listen to me, okay?
There's all different kinds of ways to lead people. Sometimes it's about standing up and telling them what to do. Giving out orders and making sure everyone gets everything done and keeping everyone marching in lockstep. Sometimes... that's exactly what people need.
And maybe you won't ever be like that. But that's not a bad thing.
When things are hard and they don't know what to do, sometimes what people need isn't orders. Sometimes it's just someone who can be bright and kind and who can guide the way for them. The kind of person who shows people what to do, leading by example by working as hard as they can and always doing their best. Even when it's hard. Even when they feel like nothing's working and they just want to give up.
Everyone needs someone like that, Arianna. Otherwise, we'd fall apart. You don't know how lucky we all are that we have you.
[Arianna listens intently to every word. She wants to hear everything. She wants to believe everything, believe Yuuri over her own doubts.
She doesn't quite manage it. Her doubts are loud and persistent, and they've had plenty of time to build strength. This isn't her first battle against them, and it won't be her last, either. But... it helps. People have expressed sentiments like this to her before, but Yuuri's words have a weight to them, because of what she's saying, because of who's saying it. She can at least doubt her doubts.]
I... thank you, Rii-san.
[She can't stop herself from crying. Why can't she stop?]
Thank you. I... I am most fortunate to have you above all.
[ Yuuri's smile is a little pained. It hurts to see Arianna like this. Arianna, who had done nothing but work her hardest no matter how out of her depth she was. It's not fair that she should be made to doubt herself by anything and Yuuri's relative powerlessness here is awful.
But she still smiles and leans in to gently bump her forehead against Arianna's and smooths her hair back from her face, to make sure it doesn't get wet. She won't tell Arianna not to cry, but she'll wait here until the storm passes. ]
That's right. We've both got each other, haven't we? Neither of us have to carry any of this by ourselves.
[It's what she needs, really. Well, she needs a lot of things, but Yuuri being there is on the list somewhere. It's something she's come to rely on over these months, and it's one of many reasons she isn't entirely looking forward to going home.]
Thank you. [For keeping her hair away from her tears. It's a moment before she reacts to Yuuri's words.]
Yes, that is... I suppose we have established that as the theme for tonight. [She offers a small smile.] We are stronger together.
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no subject
[ She sounds so bitter, so tired that Yuuri hardly sounds like herself. ]
There's so much of it I look back at and wonder... how did I ever let things get that bad? I shouldn't be thankful that any of us went through what we did but I just... it saved me. Not just from that place but...
[ She doesn't have to say it because again, she thinks Arianna understands. Arianna, who sometimes seems like she knows Yuuri maybe a little better than Yuuri knows herself. ]
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[Yuuri getting to live in safety again. Ardyn... Ardyn's everything. People who died before and had a second chance to live. Family.]
But you did not allow things to reach that state. You merely tried your best, in the face of an overwhelming foe.
[She isn't talking about zombies.]
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But god. She knows she can't keep hating and blaming herself for all this. Not unless she wants to take one step forward and then twenty back. ]
... it's over now, though. Isn't it? Not with the Network maybe but. I don't ever have to go back to all that. If we do, it'll just be to find Yuki-chan and get her out of there. And then after that...
[ She doesn't know. The future is still a totally undefined mess of maybes and possibilities and it's terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure. ]
... where do you think you're going to go, when all this is done? When Airlocked is over and we've done whatever we have to do to save everyone.
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[Arianna freezes.]
...I must return home. I cannot simply... my responsibilities...
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... and I'm sure you'd want to introduce Clarith-san to everyone, wouldn't you?
[ The smile she manages to give Arianna is shaky but she wants her to be reminded that no matter where she goes after this, it's not like she's going to go it alone ]
Do you think the two of you might have a ceremony in Caledonia?
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But her face lights up at the prospect of showing off Clarith and getting to marry her again.]
Yes! We absolutely must have a ceremony, and introductions before that, and...
[...and the moment is over and she's sad again.]
...I know not whether everyone at home is still alive.
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... I think they will be.
[ she has nothing to base this faith off but she doesn't want to see Arianna fretting so much about them, when it obviously weighs so heavily on her heart. ]
And if they're not... well, we'll just have to do something to fix that, won't we? If we're going to save everyone who's been pulled into these awful games... if Junpei thinks he can save Ruu-chan... then what's a few more people?
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[She wishes she could share Yuuri's faith in her friend's survival, but after what she's seen... but the idea that their deaths are something they could undo rings true. It's not like they haven't been brought back before, right?]
Yes, we shall save them. And defeat the Calamity ourselves to do so, if necessary.
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[ rest in pieces to the calamity ]
And then once it's all done, you'll be able to introduce Clarith-san to them all. That's two royal weddings I'm going to end up attending...
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[as many pieces as possible]
Two may not be the end. If Lord Takumi and Sir Finn choose to wed, I am certain you will be invited.
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[ They certainly seemed joined at the hip in Florida and she's so glad for it. Everyone stuck in that little hellhole deserves all the happiness they can claw back from the network. ]
That makes three... oh, and once Noctis and Lunafreya-san get married, that's four. ...But I'd understand if we're not all invited to that one.
[ going to the wedding of the lady your adoptive hobo dad murdered could be construed as tacky ]
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["So what made you two decide to get married?" "Peer pressure."
Not that Arianna will let that stop her.]
Lord Xander may invite us to attend his wedding as well, once he and Dame Lightning are reunited. Perhaps even Lady Lucina and Sir Prompto.
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Arianna, don't you think we should let those two date before you start planning their wedding for them?
[ But it's said fondly without anything like a rebuke in her tone. ]
Oh, but I don't think there's any point in saying that. You're probably already planning everyone's, aren't you?
1/2
Of course it is necessary for them to date! But that is no reason we cannot be prepared for the future. When they do make such a decision...
2/2
I am being childish.
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What's brought this on all of a sudden...?
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look, you brought down the mood a while ago, it's her turn now]I feel as though the others do not consider me equal to Lord Ardyn, Lord Xander, and Lord Noctis. They are seen as strong leaders, while I am treated as a child. [Actually, that's a fandom behavior she's projecting onto people in her ongoing insecurity, but shh.] Now I realize the difference is earned.
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[ Please, listen to the School Living Club President, Arianna. ]
I don't think any of you think you're just a child, or anything like that. You're just... different from Dad and Noctis and Xander-san. There's nothing wrong with that. But they're all so much older than you and all of them have had the chance to be kings.
[ The chance to be adults.
Yuuri stares at Arianna in silence for a moment. She's told Arianna so many things. How brave and strong she is, how brightly she shines. But has Yuuri ever told her the one thing that really, truly matters?
The one thing that no one had ever thought to tell her? ]
Arianna... you're only nineteen. You've got so much time to grow and learn and... you shouldn't compare yourself to them like that. You're you. Please don't feel like you're standing in their shadows.
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But she doesn't. Because it's Yuuri. Even if everyone else really does think of her as lesser, Yuuri's faith in her is... well, it's not enough, but it means something. And it comes from experience, she knows that--even if there's still so much to the story she doesn't know, she knows enough to understand this. If nothing else, she can't stand the thought of metaphorically throwing it back in her face.]
Rii-san...
[She hugs her tightly, tears forming in her eyes.]
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There was no one around, in Megu-nee's absence, to tell her what she needed to hear. But Yuuri is here now, with Arianna and she can do what was never done for her. Can't she? ]
Listen to me, okay?
There's all different kinds of ways to lead people. Sometimes it's about standing up and telling them what to do. Giving out orders and making sure everyone gets everything done and keeping everyone marching in lockstep. Sometimes... that's exactly what people need.
And maybe you won't ever be like that. But that's not a bad thing.
When things are hard and they don't know what to do, sometimes what people need isn't orders. Sometimes it's just someone who can be bright and kind and who can guide the way for them. The kind of person who shows people what to do, leading by example by working as hard as they can and always doing their best. Even when it's hard. Even when they feel like nothing's working and they just want to give up.
Everyone needs someone like that, Arianna. Otherwise, we'd fall apart. You don't know how lucky we all are that we have you.
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She doesn't quite manage it. Her doubts are loud and persistent, and they've had plenty of time to build strength. This isn't her first battle against them, and it won't be her last, either. But... it helps. People have expressed sentiments like this to her before, but Yuuri's words have a weight to them, because of what she's saying, because of who's saying it. She can at least doubt her doubts.]
I... thank you, Rii-san.
[She can't stop herself from crying. Why can't she stop?]
Thank you. I... I am most fortunate to have you above all.
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But she still smiles and leans in to gently bump her forehead against Arianna's and smooths her hair back from her face, to make sure it doesn't get wet. She won't tell Arianna not to cry, but she'll wait here until the storm passes. ]
That's right. We've both got each other, haven't we? Neither of us have to carry any of this by ourselves.
no subject
Thank you. [For keeping her hair away from her tears.
It's a moment before she reacts to Yuuri's words.]
Yes, that is... I suppose we have established that as the theme for tonight. [She offers a small smile.] We are stronger together.