Wh-?! [Ardyn froze up under the unexpected contact, arms hovering uncertainly for a moment before wrapping tightly around her.]
...I don't deserve any of you or the loyalty you've given me. I know that you'll argue, but it's true all the same. After all that I've done--all the suffering I've caused in the name of revenge I found justified, I should have died in Insomnia and let that be the end of it.
[His voice faltered with that acknowledgment, quiet and colored by uncertainty. What was Noctis going to think, if they were able to meet again? Would he believe Ardyn had lied and manipulated his way into this whole group, that he was just lying in wait for a chance to betray every last one of them for his own benefit? Or-...]
When it was over, I asked him what he would do. If he truly planned to banish the daemons--both of us knowing it would cost him his life. I asked if he would erase me from history once more. I'm not sure what I expected--perhaps that he'd tell me to stay dead this time, or confirm I'd be eradicated from existence in any and all forms.
[Had he told anyone this? Surely he'd said it to Church at some point, more than likely. But did anyone know how much a brief exchange haunted him now, with time enough to dwell on it and without the constant burning hatred making him something other than human.]
But he just looked at me and said...'this time, you can rest in peace. Close your eyes--forevermore'.
[When the prophecy is fulfilled, all in thrall to darkness shall know peace.]
[Again, sympathy where it hadn't been deserved or even wanted. Ardyn Izunia couldn't comprehend it, and Tenmyouji Ardyn was still struggling to understand it. Why had either of them cared even that much, after all he'd done? Why did anyone here ever give a damn about him? Why, when a whole kingdom and his own family had turned on him so easily, did no one else seem willing to condemn him when things came down to it?]
[Ardyn hugged Yuuri a little tighter--trying to hide the fact that his shoulders might have been shaking.]
...that is the last thing that I remember. What I am saying is that I don't have anywhere to return to--just you and the others. And I don't...understand why, after everything-even with yet worse that most of you don't even realize--you're still so willing to remain with me.
[Ultimately, 'forgiveness' was not something Ardyn knew well.]
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...I don't deserve any of you or the loyalty you've given me. I know that you'll argue, but it's true all the same. After all that I've done--all the suffering I've caused in the name of revenge I found justified, I should have died in Insomnia and let that be the end of it.
[His voice faltered with that acknowledgment, quiet and colored by uncertainty. What was Noctis going to think, if they were able to meet again? Would he believe Ardyn had lied and manipulated his way into this whole group, that he was just lying in wait for a chance to betray every last one of them for his own benefit? Or-...]
When it was over, I asked him what he would do. If he truly planned to banish the daemons--both of us knowing it would cost him his life. I asked if he would erase me from history once more. I'm not sure what I expected--perhaps that he'd tell me to stay dead this time, or confirm I'd be eradicated from existence in any and all forms.
[Had he told anyone this? Surely he'd said it to Church at some point, more than likely. But did anyone know how much a brief exchange haunted him now, with time enough to dwell on it and without the constant burning hatred making him something other than human.]
But he just looked at me and said...'this time, you can rest in peace. Close your eyes--forevermore'.
[When the prophecy is fulfilled, all in thrall to darkness shall know peace.]
[Again, sympathy where it hadn't been deserved or even wanted. Ardyn Izunia couldn't comprehend it, and Tenmyouji Ardyn was still struggling to understand it. Why had either of them cared even that much, after all he'd done? Why did anyone here ever give a damn about him? Why, when a whole kingdom and his own family had turned on him so easily, did no one else seem willing to condemn him when things came down to it?]
[Ardyn hugged Yuuri a little tighter--trying to hide the fact that his shoulders might have been shaking.]
...that is the last thing that I remember. What I am saying is that I don't have anywhere to return to--just you and the others. And I don't...understand why, after everything-even with yet worse that most of you don't even realize--you're still so willing to remain with me.
[Ultimately, 'forgiveness' was not something Ardyn knew well.]