Back home, no--I was a long-dead lost cause. Anything that was ever human within Ardyn Izunia had been crushed out and replaced with something twisted and wrong; a cataclysm fueled by the spiteful memories of a dead healer. He didn't want to be saved--at least, not 'saved' in the way you're talking about.
[All that he'd done, all he'd manipulated and influenced behind the scenes--from Insomnia's invasion to Altissia's fall to leading Noctis straight to the Crystal--it had all been leading to one purpose.]
['Only once the Crystal and King are no more...can I know redemption.']
[Salvation and redemption to Ardyn Izunia meant forcing a child of twenty--no, thirty--to be left with no option but to cut down one to save many. To die alongside him, the last two remnants of the Lucian bloodline.]
...I can not say if I wanted to be saved or not in these past months. I think I must have, at one point or another--but I knew I didn't deserve it. I still don't. It should be Noctis here in my place; if either of the last remnants of the Lucis Caelum dynasty should be saved, then it should have been him that lived.
[Ardyn went distantly quiet, stare lowered to their hands for a moment--briefly he was back in Insomnia, rain falling from a blighted sky. 'This time, you can-']
[He shook his head, pulling himself out of his own memories and looking back up to Yuuri.]
...But I didn't have a choice. It seems I never do, when it comes to matters like this. I had no option but to act as pawn to the Astrals because I once wished only to protect others, and the rest of you simply refused to allow me to again crush out that resurrected memory of that human and his blind selflessness. None of you let someone who only knew betrayal simply forget how to trust again.
This family is so much more than I should have. But it's mine regardless.
no subject
[All that he'd done, all he'd manipulated and influenced behind the scenes--from Insomnia's invasion to Altissia's fall to leading Noctis straight to the Crystal--it had all been leading to one purpose.]
['Only once the Crystal and King are no more...can I know redemption.']
[Salvation and redemption to Ardyn Izunia meant forcing a child of twenty--no, thirty--to be left with no option but to cut down one to save many. To die alongside him, the last two remnants of the Lucian bloodline.]
...I can not say if I wanted to be saved or not in these past months. I think I must have, at one point or another--but I knew I didn't deserve it. I still don't. It should be Noctis here in my place; if either of the last remnants of the Lucis Caelum dynasty should be saved, then it should have been him that lived.
[Ardyn went distantly quiet, stare lowered to their hands for a moment--briefly he was back in Insomnia, rain falling from a blighted sky. 'This time, you can-']
[He shook his head, pulling himself out of his own memories and looking back up to Yuuri.]
...But I didn't have a choice. It seems I never do, when it comes to matters like this. I had no option but to act as pawn to the Astrals because I once wished only to protect others, and the rest of you simply refused to allow me to again crush out that resurrected memory of that human and his blind selflessness. None of you let someone who only knew betrayal simply forget how to trust again.
This family is so much more than I should have. But it's mine regardless.