[ Again, the instinct to deny that -- to say she should have tried harder, simply been better somehow. Even with all the time and distance, she still finds herself wanting to own everything that had happened. Because somehow, the idea that she'd tried and failed and could've done things right is better than the idea that there was no way to do things right. It's powerlessness that terrifies her more than the idea of her own failures.

But god. She knows she can't keep hating and blaming herself for all this. Not unless she wants to take one step forward and then twenty back. ]

... it's over now, though. Isn't it? Not with the Network maybe but. I don't ever have to go back to all that. If we do, it'll just be to find Yuki-chan and get her out of there. And then after that...

[ She doesn't know. The future is still a totally undefined mess of maybes and possibilities and it's terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure. ]

... where do you think you're going to go, when all this is done? When Airlocked is over and we've done whatever we have to do to save everyone.