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... I don't think... after everything that's happened I don't think it's about "deserving" things or "what we should have".
[ Her voice is a little halting and unsure. Even as she feels the words out she's not sure what it is she's trying to say. Because if it was about what anyone deserved then they never would've lost Mai. They wouldn't have Kip with them. It feels good to talk about getting justice, giving the network what they deserve but the more Yuuri thinks that word over the less she likes it. ]
Whatever we 'should have' doesn't matter anymore. What we have is... all this. This ship and this family. And I don't think any one of us is ever going to let any of it go. We're yours and you're ours. Deserving or not.
[ She smiles. It's small and tired but it's as sincere a smile as she's ever given any of them. ]
[ Her voice is a little halting and unsure. Even as she feels the words out she's not sure what it is she's trying to say. Because if it was about what anyone deserved then they never would've lost Mai. They wouldn't have Kip with them. It feels good to talk about getting justice, giving the network what they deserve but the more Yuuri thinks that word over the less she likes it. ]
Whatever we 'should have' doesn't matter anymore. What we have is... all this. This ship and this family. And I don't think any one of us is ever going to let any of it go. We're yours and you're ours. Deserving or not.
[ She smiles. It's small and tired but it's as sincere a smile as she's ever given any of them. ]
[It was difficult--no, impossible for Ardyn to let go of the desire for vengeance. Someone should have paid for what they had all gone through and all those they'd lost, and as far as he was concerned someone would. Was it right to want bloody revenge on the network? The exalted savior of Lucis would disagree. Vengeance caused more problems than it solved; destroy them and risk something worse rising to take its place. Yet the Accursed would demand fires lit and blood shed, trample the network so soundly underfoot that all across the stars would look to the example and never dare tread the same path.]
[...It was difficult to prioritize what he wanted and what might someday be necessary; Ardyn was only human, after all.]
I don't know if I can completely agree with that. Not after what I've done--I'm the last person deserving of a second chance, no matter what the rest of you think.
But I already tried to discourage all of you once, and we all saw how well that went--at least two of you want to fight a god the size of a building in my defense. Possibly three, if we're to include you. Accursed scourge of an entire planet, and that barely got any of you to blink, much less turn on me.
[Despite the honest but pessimistic wording, a smile drifted across Ardyn's face.]
...You know, when I said I never had children, that wasn't a suggestion that applications were open. [He shook his head, hands gently pulling away from Yuuri's in favor of holding his arms out to her just slightly--hesitant, like he wasn't sure what he was doing.] But I'm immeasurably grateful for the family that so stubbornly adopted me.
[...It was difficult to prioritize what he wanted and what might someday be necessary; Ardyn was only human, after all.]
I don't know if I can completely agree with that. Not after what I've done--I'm the last person deserving of a second chance, no matter what the rest of you think.
But I already tried to discourage all of you once, and we all saw how well that went--at least two of you want to fight a god the size of a building in my defense. Possibly three, if we're to include you. Accursed scourge of an entire planet, and that barely got any of you to blink, much less turn on me.
[Despite the honest but pessimistic wording, a smile drifted across Ardyn's face.]
...You know, when I said I never had children, that wasn't a suggestion that applications were open. [He shook his head, hands gently pulling away from Yuuri's in favor of holding his arms out to her just slightly--hesitant, like he wasn't sure what he was doing.] But I'm immeasurably grateful for the family that so stubbornly adopted me.
Right! Though it is a little hard to get used to. Maybe something good will come our way! We'll just have to work for it.
[ It strikes her somewhere new in her chest to hear that word again. Family. She's been throwing it around so readily and easily ever since she'd realized that's what they were but all of a sudden she realizes all over just how strongly she feels the same: that she could not ever express how grateful she is for this ragtag group of people.
She has no idea what happened to her parents. She still isn't sure of what might have happened to Ruu. And the School Living Club, as fiercely as she loved it wasn't a family -- it was more pack than anything else, a group of people thrown together and surviving by the skin of their teeth because any other choice meant death. It's never occurred to her before but she realizes now that all of them had been orphans in some way or another.
Had been, is the key word. She doesn't quite know when or how it happened but there's suddenly a father in her life again. A father who laughs and smiles and puts his arms out for a hug and doesn't talk to her, look at her like she's a guest in her own home who makes him nervous.
Yuuri steps forward and throws her arms around him in a tight, fierce hug. Compared to Ardyn, she's pint-sized but there's a whole lot of strength in those arms. ]
... me too. I don't know where I'd be without any of you.
[ She gives a shaky little laugh. ]
I think we both surprised ourselves a bit, though.
[ You remember the sweater and the yelling, Ardyn. ]
She has no idea what happened to her parents. She still isn't sure of what might have happened to Ruu. And the School Living Club, as fiercely as she loved it wasn't a family -- it was more pack than anything else, a group of people thrown together and surviving by the skin of their teeth because any other choice meant death. It's never occurred to her before but she realizes now that all of them had been orphans in some way or another.
Had been, is the key word. She doesn't quite know when or how it happened but there's suddenly a father in her life again. A father who laughs and smiles and puts his arms out for a hug and doesn't talk to her, look at her like she's a guest in her own home who makes him nervous.
Yuuri steps forward and throws her arms around him in a tight, fierce hug. Compared to Ardyn, she's pint-sized but there's a whole lot of strength in those arms. ]
... me too. I don't know where I'd be without any of you.
[ She gives a shaky little laugh. ]
I think we both surprised ourselves a bit, though.
[ You remember the sweater and the yelling, Ardyn. ]
I won't lie and pretend it isn't slightly jarring every time one of you calls me that. Of all the things I've been, I don't believe 'father figure' was ever anywhere on the list.
[But he put his arms around her all the same; still hesitant, doubting and second-guessing if he was taking the right approach. Doubting if he was what Yuuri and Junpei and Clarith thought he was or needed him to be, after everything. Doubting, even now, if he was human enough for this. But in another lifetime, before ages in darkness and solitude, he'd had a family. Had people he loved dearly--parents, brother, Shield--people he would have once sacrificed everything for.]
[...People that discarded him, and who he discarded in turn.]
[There had, possibly, been part of him back then that envied his brother as Izunia must have envied him. Wasn't it so much preferable to stay in one place, with a loving family and no constant traveling, no endless struggling and slow, gradual descent into raging madness? Had his little brother held any idea how Ardyn had never dared admit to wanting that?]
[Deserved or not, maybe it really wasn't too late. Hesitant or not he held on to Yuuri like he fully intended to protect her from a million threats in a thousand worlds.]
...it'll be different this time. [He said that half to himself; never again, just as he'd promised Queenie. No more betrayal, no more family going behind each other's backs and throwing away the time they'd spent together.]
[As much as the concept still left even Ardyn unnerved, he could trust these people--his family--and believe that trust would not be cast aside.]
I'm not-...we're not alone anymore.
[But he put his arms around her all the same; still hesitant, doubting and second-guessing if he was taking the right approach. Doubting if he was what Yuuri and Junpei and Clarith thought he was or needed him to be, after everything. Doubting, even now, if he was human enough for this. But in another lifetime, before ages in darkness and solitude, he'd had a family. Had people he loved dearly--parents, brother, Shield--people he would have once sacrificed everything for.]
[...People that discarded him, and who he discarded in turn.]
[There had, possibly, been part of him back then that envied his brother as Izunia must have envied him. Wasn't it so much preferable to stay in one place, with a loving family and no constant traveling, no endless struggling and slow, gradual descent into raging madness? Had his little brother held any idea how Ardyn had never dared admit to wanting that?]
[Deserved or not, maybe it really wasn't too late. Hesitant or not he held on to Yuuri like he fully intended to protect her from a million threats in a thousand worlds.]
...it'll be different this time. [He said that half to himself; never again, just as he'd promised Queenie. No more betrayal, no more family going behind each other's backs and throwing away the time they'd spent together.]
[As much as the concept still left even Ardyn unnerved, he could trust these people--his family--and believe that trust would not be cast aside.]
I'm not-...we're not alone anymore.
[A week had passed, and no one had died. There still wasn't even a hint of Champion titles, or the idea of murdering someone in order to leave. And yet despite that, Ardyn was only more on edge and struggling to hide it. Luscinia was ever perched on his shoulder, preening at his hair even when most of it was in a messy ponytail. Sometimes he could be caught taking notes or drawing idly in a notebook, while other moments found him turning a black glass paperweight over and over in his hand.]
[In short, he was restless and unsettled no matter how hard to tried to look calm--and he was very much trying.]
[In short, he was restless and unsettled no matter how hard to tried to look calm--and he was very much trying.]
If you drop that and it breaks, I'm not helping you clean up all the glass.
[ Goodness Yuuri, you're getting good at sneaking up when it looks like someone might need fussing over. She doesn't have her usual staple of a hot drink because the last thing Ardyn looks like he needs right now is a caffeine boost to all that nervous energy. ]
... it's like torture, isn't it? Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
[ Goodness Yuuri, you're getting good at sneaking up when it looks like someone might need fussing over. She doesn't have her usual staple of a hot drink because the last thing Ardyn looks like he needs right now is a caffeine boost to all that nervous energy. ]
... it's like torture, isn't it? Waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm not about to drop it. [But he wasn't exactly stopping the restless motion, either.]
...Our first week was just as quiet, but there is absolutely no chance they would even be broadcasting if it didn't. The second we let our guard down, this whole affair is going to take a turn into disastrous.
...Our first week was just as quiet, but there is absolutely no chance they would even be broadcasting if it didn't. The second we let our guard down, this whole affair is going to take a turn into disastrous.
I know. The last thing I want is for anyone to die but the more I watch the more I just think... god, I just want them to get it over with already. We all know it's going to happen. But that's an awful thing to think.
[ She sighs and pulls over a chair so she can drop herself into a seat next to him. This feels like a sitting down kind of talk. ]
Maybe... I don't know. Do you think there's any chance that they waited so long to broadcast it because nothing actually happened? And ours was the more... exciting season?
[ She sighs and pulls over a chair so she can drop herself into a seat next to him. This feels like a sitting down kind of talk. ]
Maybe... I don't know. Do you think there's any chance that they waited so long to broadcast it because nothing actually happened? And ours was the more... exciting season?
If nothing happened, why bother broadcasting at all?
[Ardyn sighed, slouching in his chair and crossing one leg over the other.]
Particularly so soon after a relatively successful season just ended.
[Ardyn sighed, slouching in his chair and crossing one leg over the other.]
Particularly so soon after a relatively successful season just ended.
Who knows. Maybe they're just that desperate for a breather season after we went and blew up one of their sets.
[ There's no conviction whatsoever in her words, though. She knows what's going to happen will come sooner or later and there's not a damn thing they can do about it. ]
I just-- I was hoping so badly we'd be able to change something now that we're out. Now that we're not just flying around blind on the Temerity. But it almost feels like we're back to square one.
[ There's no conviction whatsoever in her words, though. She knows what's going to happen will come sooner or later and there's not a damn thing they can do about it. ]
I just-- I was hoping so badly we'd be able to change something now that we're out. Now that we're not just flying around blind on the Temerity. But it almost feels like we're back to square one.
... [He placed the Starscourge paperweight on the table rather than shove it back in the Armiger for now, leaning forward and brushing Yuuri's hair back from her eyes. Some things didn't change, and a lack of personal space was one of them.]
We're in a better position than we were, however incrementally. It's miles from the progress I'd hoped for, but it isn't back at the start just yet.
We're in a better position than we were, however incrementally. It's miles from the progress I'd hoped for, but it isn't back at the start just yet.
[ It's still strange to be on the receiving end of casual, comforting attention like this. She's so used to being the one doling it out that it takes her by surprise every time any of their little family does the same for her but she can't say she's complaining. She even manages a little smile. ]
It's... a step forward, isn't it? Better than nothing. And we're in a better position to work with it now than we were.
It's... a step forward, isn't it? Better than nothing. And we're in a better position to work with it now than we were.
That's right. If nothing else, we've larger numbers and a marginally less pressuring position from which to plan our next move.
[Realizing the two of them could use a change of subject and a distraction, Ardyn frowned critically in a way that seemed less than serious, glancing over Yuuri for a second or two.]
Turn your chair around for a moment, would you?
[Realizing the two of them could use a change of subject and a distraction, Ardyn frowned critically in a way that seemed less than serious, glancing over Yuuri for a second or two.]
Turn your chair around for a moment, would you?
You're fine, no need to worry.
[She might have seen a couple floating white crystals that came with reaching into the Armiger out of the corner of her eye, followed by the light pull of careful hands gathering her hair together at the back of her neck.]
Your hair's quite a mess, and I could use something to do with my hands that isn't toying with a plague taken the form of a paperweight.
[She might have seen a couple floating white crystals that came with reaching into the Armiger out of the corner of her eye, followed by the light pull of careful hands gathering her hair together at the back of her neck.]
Your hair's quite a mess, and I could use something to do with my hands that isn't toying with a plague taken the form of a paperweight.
[ She's about to glance back with raised eyebrows and her lips parted to ask just what's going on. But then she feels his hands in her hair, praises and turns away again with a little smile.
If only Eos could see their Accursed now. ]
Well, I suppose I can't just walk around looking like a mess while I'm a guest in someone's house, can I?
If only Eos could see their Accursed now. ]
Well, I suppose I can't just walk around looking like a mess while I'm a guest in someone's house, can I?
Oh, fate forbid.
[Noctis or any of the others might have thought him more likely to snap her neck than be running a brush from the Armiger through her hair. At one point, they would have been right.]
Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I used to watch V-...a friend of mine do this every morning. I think I can still remember how it worked.
[Noctis or any of the others might have thought him more likely to snap her neck than be running a brush from the Armiger through her hair. At one point, they would have been right.]
Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I used to watch V-...a friend of mine do this every morning. I think I can still remember how it worked.
Oh, I'm not worried, I trust you. [ things no one on eos has said to ardyn millionlastnames in centuries ] If you could do much damage with just a brush then I think I'd be more impressed than anything.
[ She's quiet for a moment, hands folded in her lap. It's been a very long while since anyone's actually bothered to fuss over her hair on her behalf. Not since she was old enough to be able to do it herself. But Ruu was always happy to spend hours, if allowed, sat in front of her big sister while Yuuri swept a brush through her smooth blonde hair and she's suddenly hit with a sting of unexpected nostalgia and finds herself smiling a little sadly. ]
... when, um... when we're all settled again and... Ruu-chan is here. [ because she won't talk about that like it's an if. she trusts Junpei, believes in him with all her heart and if he says he's going to save Haruna Wakasa then Yuuri has no reason whatsoever to doubt him. ] She'd probably let you do whatever you liked with her hair. Brushing it for her was the only time I could ever get her to sit still.
[ She's quiet for a moment, hands folded in her lap. It's been a very long while since anyone's actually bothered to fuss over her hair on her behalf. Not since she was old enough to be able to do it herself. But Ruu was always happy to spend hours, if allowed, sat in front of her big sister while Yuuri swept a brush through her smooth blonde hair and she's suddenly hit with a sting of unexpected nostalgia and finds herself smiling a little sadly. ]
... when, um... when we're all settled again and... Ruu-chan is here. [ because she won't talk about that like it's an if. she trusts Junpei, believes in him with all her heart and if he says he's going to save Haruna Wakasa then Yuuri has no reason whatsoever to doubt him. ] She'd probably let you do whatever you liked with her hair. Brushing it for her was the only time I could ever get her to sit still.
You would be surprised what I can do with unconventional weaponry.
[His hands went still at the mention of Yuuri's sister, but only for a second or two. He didn't doubt there was some way to salvage the situation, considering the massive joke that was anything resembling a coherent timeline between them.]
[But it made him think, if only for that fleeting second, about someone else.]
...I suppose I could do that, if she wanted me to.
[His hands went still at the mention of Yuuri's sister, but only for a second or two. He didn't doubt there was some way to salvage the situation, considering the massive joke that was anything resembling a coherent timeline between them.]
[But it made him think, if only for that fleeting second, about someone else.]
...I suppose I could do that, if she wanted me to.
It wouldn't take much convincing, honestly. As soon as she realised you had a brush, she'd be up on the chair before you could blink.
[ It doesn't hurt as much to talk about her now. It stings but only in the way a skimmed knee does. It'll heal in time. So long as she doesn't pick too much at the wound. ]
She'd need a little time to adjust but I... I like to think she'd warm up to you all fast enough.
[ It doesn't hurt as much to talk about her now. It stings but only in the way a skimmed knee does. It'll heal in time. So long as she doesn't pick too much at the wound. ]
She'd need a little time to adjust but I... I like to think she'd warm up to you all fast enough.
[Ardyn didn't answer at first, almost as if he hadn't quite heard her. Behind Yuuri's back, the smile that was so often on his face had evaporated like smoke.]
...The hesitant sort, hm? My brother was much the same himself, once.
[The answer left him before he could reconsider it, quiet and distant.]
...The hesitant sort, hm? My brother was much the same himself, once.
[The answer left him before he could reconsider it, quiet and distant.]
[ Ah. That shuts her up.
She doesn't turn around to see the look on his face -- doesn't have to, not when she hears it in his tone. She's quiet herself for a long, long moment before she swallows enough to wet her dry throat and she feels brave enough to speak. ]
... were, um... were you much older than him? He was your younger brother, wasn't he?
She doesn't turn around to see the look on his face -- doesn't have to, not when she hears it in his tone. She's quiet herself for a long, long moment before she swallows enough to wet her dry throat and she feels brave enough to speak. ]
... were, um... were you much older than him? He was your younger brother, wasn't he?
[Ardyn had already talked about the subject with Junpei when he hadn't remembered the truth, and with Church when he had. He'd even shown the latter some approximation of his brother's face when they were trying those hardlight projectors.]
[(He'd needed to know if he remembered what his brother looked like, and he still wasn't certain he did.)]
[Was it easy to talk about, without dissolving into a complex mixture of hatred and spite and the repeated question of why with no answer? Of course not. Did he trust Yuuri and the others--his family--to know about it?]
...I was five years older. Not quite a tremendous difference.
[Of course he did.]
[(He'd needed to know if he remembered what his brother looked like, and he still wasn't certain he did.)]
[Was it easy to talk about, without dissolving into a complex mixture of hatred and spite and the repeated question of why with no answer? Of course not. Did he trust Yuuri and the others--his family--to know about it?]
...I was five years older. Not quite a tremendous difference.
[Of course he did.]
Mmn. A lot less than me and Ruu-chan. For us it was about...
[ A pause, and a considering little hum. She doesn't really have to think that hard about it -- but she wants to give Ardyn a moment of quiet, a place for him to interject and tell her to stop if it turns out they're poking at a scar that isn't quite ready to stop aching yet. ]
About ten or eleven years, I think. I was only about eight or so when she was born. So she really ended up being the baby of the family.
[ A pause, and a considering little hum. She doesn't really have to think that hard about it -- but she wants to give Ardyn a moment of quiet, a place for him to interject and tell her to stop if it turns out they're poking at a scar that isn't quite ready to stop aching yet. ]
About ten or eleven years, I think. I was only about eight or so when she was born. So she really ended up being the baby of the family.
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